I am seeming to enjoy this diary. it has been so very long
since I was able to express all my wild and crazy thoughts
quite so openly and unafraid of censure.
of course, i have to close my eyes and ignore everything
i ever knew about proper spelling/writing/etc and just flow,
but it sure beats the heck out of the alternative:
going completely and totally insane.
i have tried being me in front of family and friends but
truly it is too hard for most to really know me and be
able to accept the fact that i can be quite volatile and blunt
but i mean no harm and no foul i just am and it is
so very nice to be able to just let it all hang out and
not have everyone judging me as mean or ugly just because
i like to argue with the tv and pass judgment on
inconsequential fictitious tv/movie characters who will
never know or care that i insulted them or wished them
harm because they are not real. i don’t do it to real
people and that is what really counts, i think.
i do not think i am such a bad person
for being me, but am so sick and tired of being wrongly
interpreted. anyway, i am what i am and i cannot change my
soul just to please those around me, so i will just hide
out and let them see whatever it is makes them
happy…after all, nothing lasts forever…one day i will
be free to be me in places where they will see me if just
for a day or just for a week and then i’ll be gone, off to
greener lands or maybe just newer…never to be seen again.