Of Strawberry Wine and Other Things…

I was definitely not seventeen. My summer spanned the
course of several years. But the memories, those years…
that lifetime. They endure.
I still dream and…in dreaming…remember those lovely,
bittersweet memories that I keep locked away in the
darkest recesses of my soul. Now, as an older woman, I
look back at the futility of hanging on in spite of all I
knew and all the innocence I sold cheaply, despite my
beliefs…and yet, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I know
this:
I would do it all over again.
For in following the path I did, I ended up where I am now
and the memories, the heartbreak, the regrets, they just
make me richer and more able to love and forgive and
accept than I ever was before. Love…charity…they are
truly one and the same. And they really do beareth all
things for they have no other choice. Even when one walks
away in despair, never again to turn back, the love
endures…forever, maybe not in the same form, because in
walking away it is burned at the seams and charred into a
new form, but enduring nonetheless.

To Be Me

An upswing of emotions, a manic high brought about by adrenaline, to be swept away and enveloped in heart-wrenching emotions so strong as to burst you at the seams if only you will let yourself go…this is why some rare ones love being who they are so much…
and why others might be uncomfortable, as well, and none to blame.
At my best, I am alive, a wire, the world bright colors and silver linings greet me at every turn. Yet I’ve dipped my toes within darker regions, inky pits of despair. Sometimes, I have willingly lowered myself into the tar pits of the nether regions just to feel what there is to feel. I know the heights that can be reached and have tasted a fleeting bitter drop of despair, yet never enough for it to be as bad as it can get for some…I am blessed. Blessed to be me, to be able to reach for heights untold and to be able to avoid the maelstrom of despair that can enfold those unfortunate enough to own the two opposite ends of the spectrum.
How bizarre, to be able to feel and yet be able withdraw into the relative safe void that hides within my soul. I would not change a thing. To live, to sink my teeth within this life and suck the sweet juices dripping down my fingers…what a blessing to be me!

~ Maelstrom143